When my sister first told me about her wedding, she said that she wanted her brothers to serve as her “men of honor.” I had never heard this term before, but immediately I liked it. I don’t think she finished asking the question before I interrupted saying, “yes, absolutely I want to do that.” She sighed a little sigh of relief and said, “I’m so glad you said yes… because you didn’t have a choice.”
Well, aint that love.
Don’t mistake me, I think love is a choice. That’s what makes it special. Love is not perfunctory. It is a decision and an action more than a feeling. But love is the one decision that once you make it, it begins to make all your future decisions for you. Today, my sister and her new husband have chosen love. They’ve chosen each other and forever.
We had a conversation a while back, about life and relationships and all the trials associated. Today is a happy day, but that day was different, and sometimes when we’re happy we forget what we can all sound like when we’re not. The conversation I’m remembering was a conversation: at the very end of a party, between a brother and sister, who were both at the time single. With that said, allow me to share the advice I gave my sister that day. I told her that she had a very big heart, an open heart, and that to much of the world a big heart is a big target. An open heart, an easy one. I told her that a lot of people will delight in crushing it, and stomping on it, over and over again, and that they will not stop and it will never be easy. People love stomping on an open heart. I told her this, because I care about her.
But... I also told her that this was no reason to change.
I told her to never harden, never close, and never give up.
I did not tell her this because I knew she’d someday be here. How could I? I’m not in the habit of promising things I can’t control. I simply didn’t want her to change.
My sister has the best heart
of anyone I have ever known.
I’m so happy to see her arrive at this day, married to her best friend: A man with a heart to match. Someone smart enough to know what’s important in life, what’s really valuable. Someone brave enough to pursue it, and strong enough to keep it.
To everyone else, I want to point out that the difference is everything. To see a love like theirs, to me it means the world. It means that the good guys win. That this universe is a beautiful and meaningful place, that absolute perfection reigns, and that every pain and every stumble along the way is worth it if just for the chance, the slightest possibility, of such a love.
To my sister and her new husband, congratulations. You've done well. Continue to make your decisions with love. Continue to let love make your decisions. Never harden, never close, never give up, and never let go. I’m so happy for both of you, and so grateful to you, for the example you set, and the light your love shines.
