If I could reach back in time and talk to myself, or if I had a son to teach life's great lessons to, for the most part I wouldn't know what to say. There's no right way to live, no particular path to follow — there is only being a good person, and embracing love. Life is a miracle to be spent in celebration and awe, and it is more powerful and more profound (more moving and beautiful and unexpected) than anyone can ever prepare you for. I would tell the young man this one thing: you'll find her. Plan on it.
She will be unexpected, arriving just as you begin to stop believing in such things. You will know as soon as you see her, but you will not know her. She will be so stunning that you will fall silent and stumbling at her glance, and you will think she is the most beautiful girl you've ever met, but you won't know why — not yet. You will have to speak to her, you will have to chase her. Never listen to the bitter old men who tell you to ignore her, and never listen to the voice inside (the little nagging self-hating voice) that says she won't want you. Be bold. Tell her. Don't waste time. Beg if you have to. Fight for her. Let the whole world see how you feel. Never look away, and never refuse her.
You will quickly learn who she is. Her personality will emerge colossal and clear and she will be unlike anyone, unlike anything you ever imagined — and it will undo everything you thought you knew. She will have insecurities, and you will laugh at them (because she will not understand her beauty). Yes, she will make you laugh — at everything, at nothing. She will challenge you, and redefine you, and you will not mind. You will see in her what others miss, and you will delight in how she responds when underestimated. You will guard her fiercely and prioritize everything in order behind her. You will find the world in her details. You will want to give her all that you have, and you should plan for that now. You will want to have much to give.
If she has needs or desires that you cannot meet, you will hate yourself. If she is hurt by your mistakes and your failures, you will die. And if she suspects in you coldness, if she fears your dark heart, or if she senses in you an inability to love her... you will lose her. Then, nothing else will matter. No accomplishment or acquisition will satisfy you, and the very taste of life will be pointless.
Do what you want with your life. Do what you're good at, what you enjoy. Follow your dreams, and work hard. Just know that she's coming. You'll find her.
Become today who you want to be tomorrow — create the man that you'll want her to know — because if you don't, you will have to let her go.
